Is it ignorance or apathy? Either way, this malady of yours has taken a toll on your humanity and the knack to see things as they are and doing things as they ought to be done. You abide by your clauses so fervently, yet it's an irony that you'd listen to anyone and everyone else but yours truely. If only you could use the enthusiasm to improve on the situation instead of sticking by your presumption, I wouldn't have felt that it is worthless to hold on to anything, not even 5 percent.

In fact, what disturbs me most wasn't the fact that I was getting nonchalances from you. Instead, I was merely wounded by the truth that you were never there when I needed you. Maybe you did try but if that was your best, I cannot imagine how it would be if there weren't any attempts. Well I presume at this moment that you can see how you have unknowingly transformed me into such callous person, which by the way I abhor very much. Entangled in me is this enraged hulk that can't seem to be unleashed and it makes me feel so fucking annoyed at the fact that there seem to be nothing that can warm that cold heart of yours while the blood in me is already fucking boiling!

With those barriers built around you, I can never see nor feel nor even know you. We are of worlds apart and I guess I've been in denial, refusing to acknowledge the truth that has been calling out to me. But now I'm sober and it took me years to realise that opposite poles will never and should never meet, hence never meant to attract. I am abashed at the fact that I am never perfect and flawless in your eyes, for you will never see it that way, and vice versa. It is my pain to see the distance we come to turn into disaster, into this level of ambiguity. Your pain will come when you break the shell that encloses your senses and understanding.

I miss the times when everything was at its purest form, fully free from adulteration.