I feel misunderstood. A lot of thoughts were running through my mind, so messy that I do not know where to start saying from. In the end, I decided to keep quiet because I do not believe that trashing out everything will make things better. It'll make us angry at each other even more and I really wouldn't want to spoil this friendship which I thought would last for really long. Maybe I'm just that emotionless and I really do not know how to express my concern in action wise or even verbally. I thought I should be sensitive towards the misfortune and not talk about it but I guess I handled it in the wrong way.

You have no idea how perfectly blissful I feel whenever you talk about the cheesy stuff like how we'll grow up and live near each other so we'll still hang out all night to just laugh at nothing and do the 1=3, take care of each other till we grow old. You have no idea because I do not know how I should show it. I'd love to be whatever you guys want me to be but please give me some time. When I say BFF, I really mean it.

I'm such a horrible person and I'm so ashamed of myself.