okay i'm spending another day at home cause i couldn't wake up in time to join the monsters at ubin. haha anyway, my mom didn't really allow me to go cause of the flu virus which is still (maybe not actively) spreading in ubin. anyway, i've decided not to waste another day, so i actually cleaned my hamsters cage and my room :D and maybe talk about something sensible today and maybe some self reflection. yeah.

more often in life we'd get to experience different situations and emotions. it's quick of human nature to ask why and naive of us to expect an definite answer to calm our questions. after all that i had experience within my eighteen years of year, i've learnt that the question is the answer itself; it's a walk of life that everyone has to go through. some may get life easier than the others, and some may get it harsh and almost merciless. i don't count myself as one of those lucky ones, or neither am i that unlucky. but with varying perspectives, somehow i managed to get through the troughs without blades and pills.

we scoff at inspirational postcards at book stores and see it with folly, we go "hey. milestones in life? challenges makes us stronger? adversity keeps us going? that's plain crap isn't it?" we just failed too see the true and important meaning of it all. now to think about it, experiences especially the bad ones, really makes us a stronger person, every trough that we go through, we emerge victorious; they let us handle future difficulties better.

like last year, or was it 2 years back? i had this utterly devastated period of time which i felt like dying having felt the sense of betrayal mixed with complex emotions and every move was making the situation worse. at the end of the entire saga, things became more complicated and the aftermath of emotions haunted me for the next few months leading to a year, i fought it through all the demons and possessions.

till now, though i wasn't doing exactly fine and my heart sinks whenever i think about it again, i told myself it's alright. the reason why i brought that saga up again is to really show the extend of a really bad time, i can't even describe it satisfactory now but you get the idea. of course there are other significant milestones, but that was by far the greatest.

but again, is it because of such bad experience that made us to stray away from getting ourselves into such situation again instead of giving ourselves another chance to handle it again better? you tell me. cause i'm contradicting myself right now.

being who i am now was what i have earned from where i crawled out from. bad and good experience i had it all before. its just how you handle it and how it shapes who you are now.(might sound cliche, but its true what!)

okay, i'm too lazy to do self reflection today. i mean, i do reflect everyday, on the bus or train or when i have nothing better to do. but i think it will be good you write it down, so someday when you read back, you laugh at what you were and see how much you have changed to a better person.

okay, i'm done. haha
CONGRATULATIONS IF YOU ACTUALLY BOTHERED TO READ TILL HERE

wouldn't you bring me back to that day

where you stretched out your hand to me